Football is boring

I do not like watching football. My girlfriend absolutely loves Alabama Crimson Tide football. I watch the games with her because she loves it but, it bores me.
These are the reasons I do not like football.

1. There is only 11 minutes of actual gameplay. That's right, 11 minutes. Look it up. 
2. Watching guys run up and down a field is about as fun as watching racecars drive in circles.
3. You are forced to listen to some old guys who played football 35 years ago announce the game and try and reclaim their glory.
4. Games always come on right when a tv show I want to watch is supposed to come on!
5. Fans are sometimes fanatical. Ever been yelled at for having a girlfriend who likes a team that your neighbor hates? I have.
6. The players were always the guys who picked on me in highschool.

I could write more but my girlfriend keeps asking me to pay attention to the game. ROLL TIDE!!